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(being very serious) And all I can say about this is …..“SURF’S UP BABY!! let’s hear from bachelor #2 Dustin- Well, I’m glad you asked this question Doleen. Bachelor #2 is Dustin ***** our businessman (Doleen shakes Dustin's hand too hard and hurts him).” Laughs again, takes out his comb and starts combing his hair and/or rubbing his surfboard with a towel. Why just last week my boss wanted this same information. Let’s meet bachelor #3, Daniel ******, our surfing dude (As Doleen reaches his hand to shake at the last second Daniel wipes his hand across his head to fake her out-really playing the jerk). ) The skit ends as Doleen chases the cub scout around the chairs and finally the host and the boys blow the traditional kiss to the crowd as the "Dating Game" theme song plays in the background. No man, to get off the island I was thinking of just letting you hold on by a rope or somethin’! There is nothing you need more in your life than a good surfboard, and it never hurts to have a few cans of shark repellant! Dustin- Well, Ms., first I would take out .00 and place it in a savings account where you would be earning interest. (cheers will go up in the audience) Host- Great questions and a few good answers.Doleen- very disgusted says, “Thanks but NO THANKS! Cole- Well ma’am, first of all, I would drop EVERYTHING (looking back to Dustin) and second of all I would NOT for one instant drag you in the water! (Cole shows the example to the audience then the host takes it and shows it to Doleen who, of course, is very impressed) Doleen- Well done Bachelor #1! (holds up a fake can of shaving cream that has a circle with a shark crossed out) Doleen- rather nervously says, O. Next, I would lavish you with thee top of the line palm pilot with a built in calculator (shaking his head again, looking all proud of himself)! Now, Doleen, you have time for just one more question. (laughing and getting a kick out of his joke, maybe punching Dustin then Dustin grabbing his shoulder painfully) Doleen- No, No, No.Or they were performed by Dave Chappelle, who Talib Kweli brought on board to imitate Nelson Mandela. ”) then horns in on the conversation, trying to convince Ruck to “ask her if she got a friend.” The skit culminates with Ruck whipping out his Wanya Morris impersonation and trying to convince his lady to come over with a bit of Boyz II Men’s “Uhh Ahh.” Laughter ensues. It’s all to no avail as he utters, “Fuck it, he’s dead” in regards to one of his patients; “There’s a horse in the hospital” just adds to the confusion. Though Tim Meadows gets a few laughs, the real comedic talent is in the dead-on RZA and Jay-Z impersonations.As you read on, you’ll realize that three out of the 10 skits collected here are Wu-Tang related. Most credits list Hines Buchanan and Neelam, respectively, as the actors behind those two voices–although some list the RZA as playing himself, which just goes to show how accurate of a portrayal Buchanan did of Bobby Digital. “Pimps (Freestyle at the Fortune 500 Club)”: The Coup, compositions to its overlying theme: the real hustlers wear suits and push legislation.We are hoping to provide a huge resource for people to draw from for skit ideas and inspiration.We are even asking for your help in making this happen.
We are also looking for those good old standards that have been around for ages. One is slowly walking down one side of the auditorium.(looking back at Daniel who just shrugs) While in Cub Scouts, I learned island survival skills. Now here is my second question: If you had 0.00 to spend on me, how would you spend it? Doleen- Bachelors, my last and most important question is this: what is your life’s motto? Your motto is like your goals, how you want to live your life.Daniel- I feel at this stage in our relationship, Doleen, I can open up to you and be honest, you know let you know how I really feel.(Dustin turns off his palm pilot looking very proud of himself) Doleen acts very unimpressed and says, No thank you! Daniel: Well, little lady, this must be your lucky day.To rescue you I would ride those wild waves onto your island on my trusty surfboard “Wild Rider”.
Frontier Mortician - a skit that has been around for quite a while and is absolutely hilarious.